Disappointments

I know we all fail sometimes. But do you ever have those days when it seems like nothing's going right or you feel completely incompetent of doing anything right? Even just to make people happy?

...Yeah. That was today.

First of all, the weather was bitterly cold and rainy ALL DAY. I like rainy days usually, but only when it's moderately warm out. I can handle the cold if it's sunny out. Putting the two together, however, just goes too far! Another thing to add to the day was that I've gotten very little sleep in the past week (I mean, I know I'm a college kid and all, but I got way less this week than I usually do). When I get less sleep, things always seem worse than they might be. I had also run out of meals for my meal plan, so I had to update that (which isn't completely awful, just a hassle to have to fix). I had tried out for a play on Sunday; the cast list was sent out today, and I didn't get a part at all. Which I thought might happen, but it still took a stab at my ego, and made me feel like I wasn't good enough. And finally, one of our assignments for my gateway class (a writing class) was to write a personal psalm about something we were struggling with. We also had to have ours read aloud, or at least turn them in to be graded, and I'm usually not one to shy away from sharing what I write with other people, but I really didn't want a lot of people to read it this time because it was something I was dealing with that was VERY personal. It also caused that very personal struggle to hang over my head pretty much the whole day. Overall, it was just a really off day.

Now that I have finished whining and complaining, what do I have to say about all of this?

Well, I've come to realize that life goes on. Which is totally cliche', but it does. You move past the bad (or at least unpleasant) things and move on with your life. You also learn from your mistakes. You ask yourself, "How can I be better next time (in regards to the play)?" You get stronger every day that you keep moving forward.

Sometimes, you can't help what happens. I love what people call the "serenity prayer":

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

...But there's more to that:

"...Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

These are the words that I want my heart to echo. Especially every time something happens or something comes up that may not be what I expect or what I want it to be. Not only do I need to do the top part of that "prayer," but I also need to remember the bottom half: to enjoy every moment I possibly can and trust God that He'll do what's good, what's right, and what's perfect in His plan not only for my own life, but for His overall plan.

With that being said, I am most certainly grateful for all of my friends that tried (and successfully) made my day at least a little better! To Robbie and DJ, it was enough that you listened to me ramble about these things. It may not have seemed like much, but it was. It means the WORLD to me that you took the time to do so. To Ariel and Shane, thank you for making me laugh at lunch and just being there for me to be in your wonderful presence. To Alisha, thank you SO MUCH for writing me a whole poem about me! It completely made my day, and I will totes def keep it forever.

To everyone else reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my ramblings and keep up with my life and what goes on in my head at least a little.

I am most certainly blessed. That is something to be grateful for.

Thank you, Lord!