After two years of being in a serious relationship with someone, I had started being asked the same question over and over again: "SO, when are YOU getting married?" with a sly smile on their face. I would always shrug. Because I honestly didn't have a clue.
As for someone who was that far along in a relationship, that question was so hard for me to answer and to be asked. Now that I'm single, it's even harder because the prospect of marriage seems so far away. There is no certainty about anything, no prospects. Which is honestly kind of refreshing... I could literally do anything now; I don't need to think about another person and what they would want me to do. All I have to think about is myself. I have nothing and no one holding me back from doing what I want to do. Even if that seems a bit selfish of me, it's nice to have that option now. Yet, it still bothers me to an extent that I am single, because that's what is expected of me; to my peers and all those older than me, I'm supposed to graduate college, get a good career going, get married soon after, have babies, and help manage a household full of people (all in that order). If we break up with someone, we are consoled with the statement, "Oh well, there are other fish in the sea!", etc. (And there is nothing wrong with that statement, mind you, it's kind of a relief to hear that.)
My big question is: why has Christian society glorified marriage over singleness for the young woman? Yes, marriage is a wonderful thing, when two people come together to work together and glorify God with their relationship and to bring up children and to help each other grow in their walk with Christ. All that good stuff.
But that seems to be the only thing the young twenty-something Christian woman is expected to do anymore. And it bothers me.
I don't think guys have as much of a problem with it as girls do; yes, I know y'all have your own problems/questions being asked of you (more related to your degree/job).
I have to wonder about Paul in the New Testament: I know he was a man, but did he ever feel discontent with his singleness? If he was, we don't know about it, because he discussed how content he was with being unmarried in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, yet in verse 9, he does give the married people a break because not everyone was content with being unmarried and they "burned with passion." Also in Philippians, he states that he has learned to be content in whatever circumstance he is in (4:11-12). We should be thinking like this, too.
We don't often hear about how singleness is a good thing, and I think it's because it makes us feel uncomfortable. Of course we all want to find someone to love unconditionally that loves us in return. Almost no one (that I know of) likes the thought of living alone for the rest of their lives. And with the sex-crazed culture we live in today, it's even harder to stay single AND celibate when sex is being shoved down our throats.
With all this said, I am all in favor of marriage. I hope to one day get married and have a family of my own and have my own house to decorate and a wedding to plan. Right now, though, I want to live my life to the fullest as a single young woman. I want to be a light to others in how I live and work, even in the little things.
I haven't written on here in a while, and I hope I can start doing that again, because I've missed it. I hope I have encouraged someone by what I write, like always.
With much love,
Lauren
