Last night was one I will never forget. Listening to so many talented musicians and getting to know them better was amazing! What an incredible journey for me this has been! The experience I had preparing, playing, and singing for the Next Big Thing in the past 3 months has been so good for me and has been such a learning experience as well.
When I found out that I was in the NBT, I was kind of shocked, actually. I didn't think I was as good as my mom claimed to think. (Okay, mom, you were right!) I felt (and still feel) really honored to be chosen to perform in this exciting event. During my Christmas break, I did a lot of thinking as to what extra instruments I could add to my act (because in the "acceptance" letter I received, it was encouraged that we do so). I knew I was going to play the song that I tried out with. So, I started there, and thought to myself, "You know, I would LOVE to have Nathan Burns playing the violin and Robbie playing the piano for this!" Within minutes, I had kind of an idea of what I wanted the song to sound like. I was super excited!
I didn't have a second song to play at the time. So, I searched through Scripture, and I came across my favorite verse, Psalm 55:22. I looked up to verse 17 and thought to myself that it would be such a great idea to put these verses into a song, because they've encouraged me so much in times of loneliness and doubt! So then, I wrote the song, but didn't want to leave it at that. "What else could I possibly add to this, though?" Thinking a little bit more, it came to me: my friend, Sean, is an amazing guitar player! This song could be all acoustic. Then I got even more excited. Once I had planned both songs out, and prayed about it for a while, I contacted all three of the guys and asked them if they would be willing to play for me for the Next Big Thing. I got all three to answer YES! They were more than enthusiastic about playing for me!
Months passed, and everything had gone so smoothly. Practices were fun, yet productive. The first practice with each one of the guys, they had the songs down the first or second time through. I was (and still am!) amazed at their incredible talent. Yesterday afternoon, we had one more practice before the big event. Several of my friends even made t-shirts for the NBT to support me! We all went to dinner, and then got to where we were supposed to be. All the bands crowded together in one of the classrooms on the second floor of the Cathedral, where we could watch the event from the live stream, eat snacks, and talk with each other. We started playing our two songs again, and the (now) winners, Criston & Caleb, came up to us and just listened. They complimented us, and they meant it. I couldn't stop grinning! Getting to know a lot of these people has been such a blessing, although I won't see half of them very much (which makes me really sad, because they're all really great people!)
About five minutes before the show was supposed to start, I started having this feeling of dread. I never get seriously nervous until right before I perform for things, so it just kinda hit me all of a sudden. I looked at Sean and asked him, "Can we pray?" He smiled and agreed to. We grabbed Nathan and Robbie, stepped out into the hall, and each of us took turns praying. I felt more at peace, but was still uneasy. Then, they called my name, and off we went to wait backstage. Those few minutes seemed like an eternity that we were waiting. The nerves escalated, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The guys noticed, and they tried to calm me down. (By the way, I would just like to say right now that these guys are so wonderful!) Nathan encouraged me by quoting Scripture to me (2 Tim. 1:7): "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." I remembered Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Robbie and Nathan even started telling jokes and funny stories to lighten everyone (but mainly me) up. Sean then gave me another hug and told me to look at him if I needed to. I calmed down a bit.
Then, they opened the door to let us onto the stage. I walked on, plugged in. Heart pounding. Knees knocking. Hands shaking.
"Lord, help me," I prayed one last time.
Then, I strummed the first chord.
The first song, I was visibly nervous. I loved playing that song, but I was still nervous. Then I got to introduce my band members, and then all of a sudden, my nerves vanished. COMPLETELY VANISHED. I started talking about the next song, and it just flowed out of me. I was really sad that Sean's guitar wasn't turned on at all during the second song, but at least you could hear his harmony part. The second song, I wasn't focused on the crowd or the judges watching me. It was Sean and I playing for the Lord, the way it was supposed to be. The judges critiques were good, and they were also pretty uplifting. I went backstage, and walked into the classroom where everyone was. People actually clapped when I came into the room. I could finally breathe again! My work was done.
Watching all of the other bands/singers perform from the live stream was awesome. It was really the best place to be! I could enjoy everyone's music and talk to them about it afterwards.
Then, Criston & Caleb (the last act) went on and performed, and there was no question about it: I knew they were going to win! Not only did they get the loudest cheering from the room we were in, but they also had a standing ovation (from what I heard about) and all the judges were wow'ed!! Not only were they super talented and fit so well together, but their hearts were/are in the right place and one of the judges was 100% right when they said that they were born to do this and that they were doing what God was calling them to do!
Finally, we all got to go onstage to hear the winner announced, and it was indeed Criston & Caleb! I was never so happy to lose. They deserved it!!!
So, you may ask, "Are you going to do it next year?" Of course. This has been such an amazing learning experience for me, and I've grown so much already, in my confidence, song-writing, and other things. I've missed being a part of a band so much, and now I've found people that want to keep on playing with each other for a long time. I've been blessed beyond measure by all three of these guys and cannot wait to see what all is going to happen with that!
Lord, words cannot even begin to describe how I feel right now, except for this: Thank You!
Thank You for allowing my band members and I to perform in the NBT,
Thank You for growing us closer together as brothers and sister in Christ,
Thank You for continuing to shape us into who You want us to be,
Thank You for everything.
Amen.
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