Confessions of a People-Pleasing Control Freak

I have now reached the point in my college career where I have heard the repulsive, infamous question more times than I care to count or recall. I figure you can guess what that question would be, but in case you don't know, it's the one everyone in college (especially juniors and seniors) hear and is struck with fear: "So, what's next after graduation?"

I've given into telling a couple of people that I'll probably just go eat a nice meal with my family.

But really, in all seriousness, I give so many different answers to this question depending on the person. "Oh, I'll probably teach private lessons." "I'm really interested in directing a children's choir." "I want to record my own music." "I just really want to work with people." All of these answers are legitimate, because they're all things I would be interested in. Yet, there's something tugging at my chest every time I give someone an answer to that question. It's like none of those things are good enough.

What's sad is, I can't even tell whether it's not good enough for me or good enough for others.

I thrive off of pleasing other people. I am very well aware that this isn't anything new; many people I know are also people pleasers. However, it's gotten to the point where I can't seem to think for myself in anything. I feed off of it like a vulture at a carcass. Gross picture, but it makes a point. It's bad for me, but yet, it makes me feel worth something to know that people are happy with me, my accomplishments, etc. The worst feeling in the world is someone being disappointed in me, for anything.

Maybe it's because at one point in time, in middle school, I didn't please anyone with my presence. Now, family was an exception, but you start to feel alone when no one will claim you as a friend at school or at church. I also haven't stayed at a church longer than 2 years at a time within the past 8 years or so. Being homeschooled from middle school on, I've had so many friends come and go in my life. Besides my family and my boyfriend, no one has stayed in my life longer than 3 years since early junior high school.

That's another reason I'm terrified of what's going to happen after graduation: my friends I've made here. I won't see them on a regular basis like I do now, if ever. The friend group I have right now has been together since first semester freshman year, and while we love each other, it's getting harder and harder to spend any time with each other. Each of us is moving on to another part of our lives. I find myself a wreck just trying to "make them" stay in my life, just because they've been my closest friends the longest out of so many in the past 8 years. I'm just now starting to develop meaningful relationships within the music department, and I'll be graduating in about 10 months. I'll be leaving, yet again. I would say that about 90% of my dreams lately have been me wandering around (a different place every time), looking for home, looking for someone (either my boyfriend or family), or looking for where I'm supposed to be (and it's different in every dream). Every dream ends abruptly with my alarm going off, and I never reach my destination, leaving me heavyhearted some mornings.

Is that what life is all about? Leaving, arriving, settling down somewhere, only to leave again and start all over? I mean I know we're not meant to live comfortably but c'mon. Can't I just be somewhere and STAY there? Can't I have control of all -- I mean, most of my life? I know God should be in the picture somewhere, but why would He care about my meaningless life?

Yet, He cares even more than I do. He knows everything. Every single dot and intricate detail of my pathetic, sinful life and being. And yet, He still chooses me daily.

Every time I happen to think of this truth, I shake my head ferociously. Why? I am the least bit deserving out of anybody I know.

Every night when I think of this question, I read through Scripture and see all of the countless stories of people just like me. HUGE screw ups. .....God still worked through them, sometimes brought them to Himself and revealed Himself to them. Every story is tied together into a huge story that's all about God. Everything is for His purpose and His glory. He sure as heck doesn't need us to get the job done, but He chooses to. He CHOOSES US. And despite our failures every single day, His promises have been and will always be kept.

Even when things around us change, He never does. His plans are never thwarted. Nothing surprises Him. Even when I literally scream into my pillow and throw it across my room in anger at Him or myself, He doesn't give up on me. He's still working in me, through me. Slowly but surely, I'll be like Him in more ways than I could possibly imagine.

I've drifted off to sleep so many times with no words to speak to God. I feel so inadequate when it comes to praying. (I mean really, I'm either having internal battles with myself or I'm talking out loud to the air, so it seems.) He knows my heart's deepest longings, my biggest fears, my "what ifs". God is the great weight-lifter. I have to pry my fingers off of my plans, my dreams, & my fears and relinquish them to Him first though.

It's so hard to wait when you're a control freak, though. I know the answers will come when they're supposed to. It's such a cliche' thing to say, but it's cliche' because it's completely true.

He'll always be there waiting when I'm ready to tuck my tail in and come back to Him. Thank you, Lord! May I never forget Your love and goodness.

Bury Them in a Hole.

The other day, I realized that we had 1 week until Thanksgiving Day. Which means that we had 3 weeks until Candlelight services at JBU. Which means the week after that is finals week. 

After this semester ends, I will have exactly a year left until I graduate college. 

This makes me want to scream for joy and fear at the same time. There's a part of me that feels like I have so much left to do while I'm in this season of my life. I feel like I have so much more to learn, so much left to participate in, so much left of me to pour into my friends. And yet, I feel convicted. I haven't been spending a whole lot of time with my friends lately. I know everyone's lives start going crazy towards the end of the semester, but yet I feel so out of touch with them. I had dinner with a few of them the other night and realized that some big stuff was going on with them, and I had no idea. At the same time, I am conflicted. How do I pour into my friends and keep up with boyfriend, family, homework/grades, and just keeping my room clean?? 

Sometimes I often wonder if I'm really making an impact in anyone's life. This is not an "I wish I mattered to people, oh woe is me" plug; this is a genuine concern that I have. What am I doing to leave the impression of Christ on someone's heart? Am I just simply living life day by day, just to get by or even to get ahead of others?

There are so many things I hear all the time about how we all need to do something incredible with our lives. Half of the people I notice around me are overachievers: tutoring, working out, involved in social groups, and keep straight A's while others just struggle to get by each day in just getting homework done. I look around me and feel like so many people have it all figured out, and at the same time have impacted so many people by the work they do. Me? I'm either stuck in my bedroom at home or in the first floor of the cathedral doing homework when I'm not in class. Is what I'm doing with my life right now completely meaningless? In the midst of all the craziness of my life, am I really pouring into my friends and other people I happen to meet? Am I "reaching my full potential"?

We had a guest speaker come speak to us in chapel the other day, and he spoke on not wasting your life. I saw the first slide of the powerpoint and thought, "Oh great, another charismatic speaker wanting us to go do something 'big' with our life." I've heard so many other speakers talk on this subject before, that I've just basically learned to listen through one ear and out the other with this subject.

This speaker was not charismatic. The man had never spoken in a second language (which to him was English) to an audience before. It terrified him. He told us that that wouldn't get in his way of doing what he knew he had to do.

He read and explained the parable of the talents in Matt. 25:14-30. The first two men were given several talents and used them to the best of their ability. They didn't know what was going to happen with them; all they knew was that they had been given a gift and that they needed to use them. The other third man hid his away. The reasons for why we can hide our talents and not use them are: we procrastinate, thinking that we'll have more time later; we have a wrong view of who God is, that we think He's an unloving harsh God who would smite us at the moment we fail; and/or we are fearful (which honestly ties into a wrong view of God). As the speaker explained these reasons, I felt a tug at my heart. I know I am guilty of all three of the above.

How do I fix this? The answer is that I can't do all of these things by myself. I would get so tired in trying. I have to let God work in me and through me. All I have to do is trust God to get me through, and He will.

Another question is: am I being passive in my living or am I actively living my life in the place I am called to? I have to be content with the fact that I AM in the place where I am supposed to be. But am I getting by in that place or am I an encouragement to my friends and classmates? Do I help others out with things they need help with? Do I make good, worthwhile conversation?

Sometimes, I feel like I'll have more time to do "important things" after I graduate, because then I can get a job in ministry, or be able to lead a group of young women in a Bible study, etc. I have to keep telling myself that life is not going to slow down anymore after graduation next fall. The time is NOW. If I keep putting things off until "later", they will never get done. I don't like procrastinating on homework, so why should I procrastinate in using my talents for His glory? Why should I be fearful in talking about Jesus with others when God has given me the love of meeting new people? Why am I afraid to share the Gospel with others when God has given me all the answers in His word? I have nothing to be afraid of. I have all the answers and the entire message that I need to share. I DO have time.

We are the light of the world. We also have a very short time here on earth. What are going to do with that time? Obedience that is delayed is still disobedience. Friends, let us not live life passively. Let's not bury our gifts in a hole so that they are never used. Whatever we do, let's do it for His glory.

Let's make His name known with the talents HE has given us.

Peace in Thunderstorms.

I scurried through the pouring rain, scuffing large puddles of water and thus drenching my shoes and socks. I at least brought my rain jacket, but didn't think to zip it up. You guessed it, there was a big wet spot on the top of my shirt. As if I didn't already feel less-than-pretty, I came into the Cathedral feeling and looking like a wet rat.

Despite this unpleasant experience, I enjoy the thunder and rain. If I were still in my pajamas at home, sipping a cup of coffee/tea/cider by candlelight, then I would be in heaven. There's a certain feeling I get whenever I watch or listen to a thunderstorm. There's this unsettling anxiety about the thunder and lightning, but peace with the rain. Often, though, the thunder and the rain happen simultaneously. How is it that I have peace AND fear inside of me at the same time?

I think this ties in very well with life. Thunderstorms are inevitable, and you can't ignore them. They demand attention. With lightning strikes filling up the sky with light and majesty, the thunder that accompanies it roars with authority. There are many instances of thunder & lightning in my life: not knowing what's going to happen after I graduate next December, not knowing how to balance my school life and social life completely, not knowing if I'll be able to make enough money to provide for myself, making my friends and boyfriend angry or offended, not gaining the approval of my professors,  not knowing whether I have a food allergy or what, and not knowing whether I'll live or die another day (and yes, that is a fear of mine). Those are only a FEW. These are all things that make me feel unsettled to say the least.

There are others out there that have bigger thunder & lightning things to deal with: a man without a job, a woman that is not able to have biological children, a grandmother that has alzheimer's, a young lady dealing with depression and despair, a man struggling to find his sexual identity. These are only a few instances; there are many others that demand your complete attention and strike so much fear into your heart and mind.

These are events and sometimes seasons of life that you feel like you can't bear on your own. You need help, you need rest.

I can also see thunder & lightning as a parallel to one half of God's character. His holiness and awesomeness demands attention; it does (or should make you) unsettled and somewhat fearful. Sometimes, He is unpredictable and surprises you with things. He is transcendent, ruler over all creation.

But there is another half, another side of God: one that brings a gentle rain to water the earth. He cares for His children and helps carry them through the bumps and pits of life. He brings about the ultimate good. He is immanent with and actively involved in His creation.

We will also have seasons or events of life that are pleasant, easy-going like the rain. We find love in another friend, an incredible need is met, an answer to prayer is given, and contentment with where you are.

We need the seasons of rain, but we also need the seasons of thunder & lightning alongside of the rain. A lot of the time, you can jump into something and not know what's going to happen. Despite the fear that accompanies that, you can have peace knowing that everything will turn out okay in the end. We need the thunder & lightning seasons so we can be challenged and grow more than we ever could have without it. Of course we need the seasons of gentle rain to rest from those challenges and grow in our walk with the Lord in that way.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven - ...
A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance ... He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end." - Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3-4, 11.

We don't always have to know why things happen. God just requires that we trust Him.

Home.

Today was an important day for my grandparents.

Today, they moved from the house they've lived in for over 30 years to a smaller house closer to where we live.

Today, I feel slightly heavy-hearted.

Why?

I practically grew up in that house. I went to that house all the time, spent a lot of weekends and holidays with our family there. My cousins, sister, and I crafted plans to spy on our parents and the grandparents when they would watch movies in the living room. Lindsey, Grandma, and I would have tea parties with these little plastic colorful plates and cups in the kitchen. My cousin Sarah and I would lay in bed talking until really late whenever we had sleepovers there. I remember recently sitting in the living room with both of my grandparents as my Papa would play us some of his favorite records.

These are only just a few precious memories I have of being in that house. And those are only my own. I can't even imagine how many other countless memories have been kept by being in that house.

Can you see why I would be a little sad?

I have to remember, though, that this is just a house. No matter how long it's been lived in by family, no matter how long it's been since it's been built, it's just a house. It was built with human hands, and it will not last forever.

I think also a deeper lesson to be taken from this move is that while this is not my own house and while I'm not the one moving, my own house is temporary. I'm not going to live there forever. Someday, I will no longer live here on this earth. Someday, I will live in a place that my Savior has prepared for me. Someday, I will go to live with HIM. My Savior and my God.

As I sat at the edge of the Alto I section of Cathedral choir practice today, I sat there listening to my fellow classmates sing "A Mighty Fortress is Our God." It gave me the chills and sounded like angels singing. I can't even imagine how angels REALLY sing; to think that it might possibly be better than what I witnessed today . . . This makes me so stinking excited for eternity.

Guys, even though we may get caught up in how life is for us today, this is only a small piece of the pie. School is not our whole life. Neither is our earthly possessions. These things won't last forever. They will pass away.

"Aber des Herrn Wort bleibet in Ewigkeit!" (German for "But the Lord's Word endures forever!" which is taken from the Brahm's Requiem that we will be performing in the spring with SONA.)

How awesome of a promise is that?

Can't Think of A Good Title for This One.

There are two major things I just want to hash out on in this post. The first about my beef with social media and [kind of] alongside that, dealing with relationships & friends.

Social media. First of all, I have such a love-hate relationship with it. I absolutely love that I can keep up with people that I never see or hardly ever see but that I genuinely do care about. However, there comes a point where Facebook posts drive me CRAZY. Some people really do just get on my nerves. So why don't I unfriend them? Because I feel like a horrible, awful person if and when I do that. I'm supposed to be loving, accepting, and get along with everyone, right??? Society also encourages having as many hundreds of thousands of friends/followers as possible. To go even further, why don't I just deactivate my account? Because I still want to keep up with people I don't see often. I want to know what's going on in everyone's lives. This is my problem. Blegh. 

In addition to this, I feel like everyone's lives completely revolve around Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, etc. We have to put ourselves out there for everyone to see, and everyone has to like what they see. We scream for attention, we base our worth on how many likes we get on a picture or status or tweet. I am especially guilty of this. Why should my life be based on what other people like? It's my life, not theirs. We want to feel acceptance and affirmation. We want to be liked. Nothing wrong with that, but if that's your only motive for posting stuff, then you've got to either stop posting stuff or cut off what's making you stumble. Yet again, see my above dilemma . . . I can stop logging in at any time. Why don't I? Why is it such a powerful thing that draws me in all the time, even though I know it's not beneficial to me? Probably because it's so available. Having an iphone and a laptop available to me whenever I need them, it's so easy to log in and start reading about others' lives. I start to play the comparison game. "Her wardrobe is much cuter than mine, I need to work on that." "Gosh, her makeup always looks perfect, why can't mine be like that?" "Look at all the awesome things she's doing with her life! My life sucks in comparison." Yeah, I could go on, but you get the picture. Mrah. 

It also takes away from really personal meaningful friendships. Since my friends post about their lives all the time, it makes me think I don't have to ask how they're doing, because I just read about it on a website. Tonight, I've discovered just how many flimsy, unmeaningful friendships I have with people. Sure, I know a lot of people, but do most of them really even care what I have to say? Do they appreciate me being their friend or acquaintance? Or are they just smiling and being friendly just to be nice? How many people are actually REAL friends? 

Kind of a depressing subject, actually . . . Moving on . . . 

Now, relationships. Being in one myself for only a little over a year, I don't claim to know everything there is to know about having a successful relationship. But just in observing not only my own relationship, but my friends' relationships and friendships around me, these are just a few things I've learned. 

1. Be considerate of your single friends. To some extent, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are dating, so you should act like you're a couple. But some people have a problem with seeing their friends get really touchy. Some don't want to see you kiss in front of them. Ask your friends what they're not comfortable with and what they are comfortable with. 

2. Listen to your parents. Especially if you're younger. As young adults, you are generally grown up enough to make your own decisions. However, your parents have also been there and done that; they know the same struggles/fights you get into with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and they have probably had some of the same temptations that you have faced. They've been through this stuff, too, even though it has been a few years for them. Let them help you and give you advice. 

3. DON'T IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS. This is so sO SO SOOO incredibly important. Yes, you want to spend as much time with your significant other as possible, but you most likely had your friends before your significant other. They still love you for who you are. They still want to hang out with you. 

Don't treat them like crap. 

I know of so many single friends (guys and girls alike) who have been ditched by their girl or guy friends gradually over time because they got into a relationship. These friends have been hurt deeply. I myself have had to be confronted about this towards the beginning of Matt and I's relationship. I didn't realize it until my friends had vocalized it to me, and I was genuinely sorry. If you're in a relationship, maybe you don't realize that you're hurting someone because you're still in the "honeymoon phase". Even though I'm in a relationship, I still feel hurt when a girl friend of mine stops putting time into the friendship because of her boyfriend. Guys can do the same exact things. 

Include each other in fun activities. Ask your friends if you can bring your boyfriend/girlfriend with you in the time you spend with your friends. Go on double dates. Also make time to spend JUST with your friends. Even your significant other needs friend time with his or her own group of friends if they're not the same as yours. 

Just don't exclude others from your life. 

If you read through this post, thank you. This wasn't really a "what-I'm-learning-spiritually" post, but I felt like it needed to be said anyway. 

I will say that my fifth semester at JBU started on Wednesday, and so far, it has been really good! I have a really good feeling about this semester, and it looks like it won't be NEARLY as stressful as the past year has been. PTL!!! 

I also will say that I am very thankful for Matt, my family, and for my real friends that I have that I know truly do care about me (you know who you are)! 

I am also thankful for God, who loves me even when I fail Him constantly. He never gives up on me, even when I give up on myself. He always pursues me with an unfailing love, and helps me grow in my walk with Him every day. 

I hope you are all doing well, and I still hope that this post has made you think and/or encourages you. 

An Ungrateful Heart

For about a week now, I've been working on getting old clothes and such together so that I could be able to sell them to a consignment store, and maybe get some money from it. I didn't expect to get a lot for them, but I thought, "Hey, maybe I could get SOMETHING for them." So, today, I gathered all 8 large filled-to-the-brim bags to Plato's Closet, and gave them my stuff. Even though their website says they accept books, CDs, and DVDs and such, none of the NWA stores apparently accept them . . . Grrr .  . . They gave me an hour for them to check out all my clothing items, so I went to run another errand or two while I waited. I came back when the hour was up, and I walked up to the counter. The girl handed me two bags of stuff they didn't want . . . then the third . . . then the fourth . . . until finally, she gave me back ALL of the bags I had given her. Apparently none of the clothes I had brought them were the "right" brands that they accepted. Either that or they were older than they wanted, which was at least 2 years. I knew some of those brands that they wanted that I had given them were definitely under 2 years old and in good condition. Anyway, they gave me nothing for my clothes. NOTHING.

I was so upset. I had worked so hard to research which store to give away my stuff to, how much I might be getting paid, organizing which clothes they might accept and which stuff they wouldn't, etc. And what did I get for it? Nada.

I decided to just head to Goodwill to give them all of my stuff; I just wanted it gone now.

The whole ride there, I was seething. "This is so unfair!" and "Those idiots, I'm NEVER going back there again!" ran repeatedly through my head.

Then after I calmed down some and when I had pulled up to Goodwill and given the man all of my bags, I remembered something.

Earlier that afternoon, I had been watching a lecture video for my online philosophy class. This particular lecture was on the different views that media has for why there is evil and suffering in the world. There was a documentary where I saw a man (who's arm and leg were cut off) and his family who lived on a piece of cardboard in between two railroad tracks. He had rolled over in his sleep one night onto the track and the train ran over his arm and leg. He obviously survived the accident, but it was so painful to watch him hobbling around with one arm and leg and a crutch, begging for food or money just so his FAMILY could get by. It wasn't just him that was homeless, but he had children there living with him.

Another documentary showed the Twin Towers fall from the plane crash from 9/11. There were people screaming and one man covering his head while he was bent down.

Yet another documentary showed this one woman who had become paralyzed from a diving accident (she was a swimmer). She went through many years of depression and bitterness, but then came to Christ through her struggles. She now goes and speaks to people and gives her testimony.

Each one of these videos made me cry . . .

How did I not remember this nearly two hours later with my clothes incident?!

I am ungrateful.

I really try to be. I really do. I keep up with a thankfulness journal and write in it every day, trying to pen down at least one thing I'm thankful for each day. Some days I am genuinely grateful for what/who I write down. Some days, it's a half-hearted thing. Why is this? Why can I not be grateful for what I have all the time??

I think the problem is that I have so much already, I just crave more. More food, more money, more stuff. That's the way I've been raised; I live in the richest percentage of the world. I have parts of college paid for through scholarships. I GET to go to college. I have food available to me at all parts of the day. I have plenty of clothes and shoes. I have my own electric piano and several guitars. I have my own bed. (I could go on, but you get the point.)

I'm not claiming to be filthy rich by any means, because I'm not. But in comparison to the rest of the world, I have much. So much more.

What comes to mind is the parable that Jesus told in Luke 7:36-50 when the woman who was a sinner wept and wiped His feet with her perfume. I can't even imagine how much more expensive perfume was considered back then, but I know right now that real perfume is so incredibly expensive! She could have used that to help her pay her way or to get food, but she chose this costly treasure to worship the true Treasure. The parable explains that the one who has a bigger debt, is more grateful than the one who had a smaller one.

First of all, what do I consider my greatest treasure? Is it Christ? Or something earthly and temporal?

Secondly, am I truly grateful for what I've been given? If I woke up tomorrow with only the things/people I was thankful for today, what would I have?

That's a convicting thought.

Lord, help me to be more grateful for the blessings that You HAVE given me. Thank you for what you have given to me! I pray that I will be a faithful servant with Your gifts. Help me to humble myself and diminish my awful pride! Let my faith grow, and help me to remember that You are the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Help me to treasure You above all things and all other people. Amen.

Picture Perfect.

I am a girl.

Yeah, I know, I'm definitely stating the obvious. And because I'm a girl, I'm attracted to pretty things. In reality, I think everyone, regardless of gender, is attracted to pretty things or things/people they find beautiful, but I think females are more obvious about it.

Today, Matt and I were running errands, looking for clothes (just jeans for him) because it was tax-free weekend in Arkansas for back-to-school clothes and school supplies. I had been wanting to find a maxi skirt that would actually look good on me, because they rarely do, so Matt willingly went with me to a few more shops so I could possibly find one. I tried on a few at several stores, even before today, and had found none that looked good on me. The last shop we went to was filled with really cute clothes that reflected the newest styles coming out. At last, I found a maxi skirt that looked promising! I went into the dressing room to try it on. I tried on one size, and it didn't look right. So, being hopeful, I tried on the next larger size. It fit me better, but still didn't fit right. I looked at myself in the mirror for a good 3 minutes or so while I argued inside my head: should I get it, or should I put it back on the rack? The more I kept looking at myself, the more it just didn't look right on me, so I ended up not getting it. Not a big deal, right? It happens to everyone.

We got in the car, and I started thinking to myself: "Why did I have to have such big hips?" and "Why didn't my body look 'right'?" were popping up like a virus in my mind. It was as if I was supposed to be able to fit that skirt, but I had somehow failed. Thoughts of "I need to exercise more, that will fix me", etc. also filled my mind, like I needed to fix my body.

I have always had a low image of myself. I know everyone went through an awkward phase in their life, but I feel like mine lasted longer and was way more awkward than most people. I didn't have a lot of friends in middle school, and I was made fun of for how I looked. I was the tallest girl in my class, and I was not thin. I had braces for a little over 3 years, and had a really bad haircut that was always greasy all the time.

Over the years, little by little, I've gotten over my awkwardness, grown up, and gotten somewhat over the need to look drop-dead gorgeous. But I still have my moments when I struggle. However, I know I'm not alone.

Women young and old have always felt the need to be beautiful. What we desire most is to be looked at as a goddess. We want to BE desirable and to be cherished and loved. So what do we invest ourselves in? Makeup. Clothes. Shoes. Nail polish. Teeth whitening trays. Curling irons and hair straighteners.

Don't get me wrong, I've really started appreciating dressing nicer and wearing/experimenting with makeup and such. I think it's a ton of fun to go shop with friends and get all dressed up and the like. I don't think it's wrong to do those things either. But those things should express who YOU are, not what everyone else is doing. Not what society thinks is cool. If you really like something that's in style right now that isn't unflattering or something that makes men's eyes wander, then of course it's great! It's when your life is covered up: when what you're putting on your face, body, etc. is all a lie. If you're hiding from the real you, then what good is it? We don't get to know the really cool person beneath all of that stuff. I know Matt loves me for who I am, and so do my friends. I don't need to dress a certain way or wear my hair/makeup a certain way to get their approval or make them like me more. I know God loves me without all of those things, too. My family loves me. So, who do I need to impress anyway?

I know this is a message we've all heard since we were twelve. I know guys struggle with this as well. I also know that no matter how many times we get preached at, it's hard. We want to look good for other people so we'll be liked. OR, we don't like ourselves, so we change who we are completely.

Fashion changes. "What's in" changes. The person beneath doesn't. Or at least they shouldn't. 

Humility, gentleness, graciousness, love, joy, and above all, Christlikeness. Those are things that are purely contagious. Those are things that make a person attractive. 

If I don't like who God has created me to be, I'm pretty much just telling Him that what He created wasn't good enough.

Ouch.

Colossians 3:2 commands us: "Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." Things from earth in general are temporary. Will they matter in the eternal perspective? Of course not.

Ladies (and gents), let's focus instead more on training in godliness.