Can't Think of A Good Title for This One.

There are two major things I just want to hash out on in this post. The first about my beef with social media and [kind of] alongside that, dealing with relationships & friends.

Social media. First of all, I have such a love-hate relationship with it. I absolutely love that I can keep up with people that I never see or hardly ever see but that I genuinely do care about. However, there comes a point where Facebook posts drive me CRAZY. Some people really do just get on my nerves. So why don't I unfriend them? Because I feel like a horrible, awful person if and when I do that. I'm supposed to be loving, accepting, and get along with everyone, right??? Society also encourages having as many hundreds of thousands of friends/followers as possible. To go even further, why don't I just deactivate my account? Because I still want to keep up with people I don't see often. I want to know what's going on in everyone's lives. This is my problem. Blegh. 

In addition to this, I feel like everyone's lives completely revolve around Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, etc. We have to put ourselves out there for everyone to see, and everyone has to like what they see. We scream for attention, we base our worth on how many likes we get on a picture or status or tweet. I am especially guilty of this. Why should my life be based on what other people like? It's my life, not theirs. We want to feel acceptance and affirmation. We want to be liked. Nothing wrong with that, but if that's your only motive for posting stuff, then you've got to either stop posting stuff or cut off what's making you stumble. Yet again, see my above dilemma . . . I can stop logging in at any time. Why don't I? Why is it such a powerful thing that draws me in all the time, even though I know it's not beneficial to me? Probably because it's so available. Having an iphone and a laptop available to me whenever I need them, it's so easy to log in and start reading about others' lives. I start to play the comparison game. "Her wardrobe is much cuter than mine, I need to work on that." "Gosh, her makeup always looks perfect, why can't mine be like that?" "Look at all the awesome things she's doing with her life! My life sucks in comparison." Yeah, I could go on, but you get the picture. Mrah. 

It also takes away from really personal meaningful friendships. Since my friends post about their lives all the time, it makes me think I don't have to ask how they're doing, because I just read about it on a website. Tonight, I've discovered just how many flimsy, unmeaningful friendships I have with people. Sure, I know a lot of people, but do most of them really even care what I have to say? Do they appreciate me being their friend or acquaintance? Or are they just smiling and being friendly just to be nice? How many people are actually REAL friends? 

Kind of a depressing subject, actually . . . Moving on . . . 

Now, relationships. Being in one myself for only a little over a year, I don't claim to know everything there is to know about having a successful relationship. But just in observing not only my own relationship, but my friends' relationships and friendships around me, these are just a few things I've learned. 

1. Be considerate of your single friends. To some extent, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are dating, so you should act like you're a couple. But some people have a problem with seeing their friends get really touchy. Some don't want to see you kiss in front of them. Ask your friends what they're not comfortable with and what they are comfortable with. 

2. Listen to your parents. Especially if you're younger. As young adults, you are generally grown up enough to make your own decisions. However, your parents have also been there and done that; they know the same struggles/fights you get into with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and they have probably had some of the same temptations that you have faced. They've been through this stuff, too, even though it has been a few years for them. Let them help you and give you advice. 

3. DON'T IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS. This is so sO SO SOOO incredibly important. Yes, you want to spend as much time with your significant other as possible, but you most likely had your friends before your significant other. They still love you for who you are. They still want to hang out with you. 

Don't treat them like crap. 

I know of so many single friends (guys and girls alike) who have been ditched by their girl or guy friends gradually over time because they got into a relationship. These friends have been hurt deeply. I myself have had to be confronted about this towards the beginning of Matt and I's relationship. I didn't realize it until my friends had vocalized it to me, and I was genuinely sorry. If you're in a relationship, maybe you don't realize that you're hurting someone because you're still in the "honeymoon phase". Even though I'm in a relationship, I still feel hurt when a girl friend of mine stops putting time into the friendship because of her boyfriend. Guys can do the same exact things. 

Include each other in fun activities. Ask your friends if you can bring your boyfriend/girlfriend with you in the time you spend with your friends. Go on double dates. Also make time to spend JUST with your friends. Even your significant other needs friend time with his or her own group of friends if they're not the same as yours. 

Just don't exclude others from your life. 

If you read through this post, thank you. This wasn't really a "what-I'm-learning-spiritually" post, but I felt like it needed to be said anyway. 

I will say that my fifth semester at JBU started on Wednesday, and so far, it has been really good! I have a really good feeling about this semester, and it looks like it won't be NEARLY as stressful as the past year has been. PTL!!! 

I also will say that I am very thankful for Matt, my family, and for my real friends that I have that I know truly do care about me (you know who you are)! 

I am also thankful for God, who loves me even when I fail Him constantly. He never gives up on me, even when I give up on myself. He always pursues me with an unfailing love, and helps me grow in my walk with Him every day. 

I hope you are all doing well, and I still hope that this post has made you think and/or encourages you. 

An Ungrateful Heart

For about a week now, I've been working on getting old clothes and such together so that I could be able to sell them to a consignment store, and maybe get some money from it. I didn't expect to get a lot for them, but I thought, "Hey, maybe I could get SOMETHING for them." So, today, I gathered all 8 large filled-to-the-brim bags to Plato's Closet, and gave them my stuff. Even though their website says they accept books, CDs, and DVDs and such, none of the NWA stores apparently accept them . . . Grrr .  . . They gave me an hour for them to check out all my clothing items, so I went to run another errand or two while I waited. I came back when the hour was up, and I walked up to the counter. The girl handed me two bags of stuff they didn't want . . . then the third . . . then the fourth . . . until finally, she gave me back ALL of the bags I had given her. Apparently none of the clothes I had brought them were the "right" brands that they accepted. Either that or they were older than they wanted, which was at least 2 years. I knew some of those brands that they wanted that I had given them were definitely under 2 years old and in good condition. Anyway, they gave me nothing for my clothes. NOTHING.

I was so upset. I had worked so hard to research which store to give away my stuff to, how much I might be getting paid, organizing which clothes they might accept and which stuff they wouldn't, etc. And what did I get for it? Nada.

I decided to just head to Goodwill to give them all of my stuff; I just wanted it gone now.

The whole ride there, I was seething. "This is so unfair!" and "Those idiots, I'm NEVER going back there again!" ran repeatedly through my head.

Then after I calmed down some and when I had pulled up to Goodwill and given the man all of my bags, I remembered something.

Earlier that afternoon, I had been watching a lecture video for my online philosophy class. This particular lecture was on the different views that media has for why there is evil and suffering in the world. There was a documentary where I saw a man (who's arm and leg were cut off) and his family who lived on a piece of cardboard in between two railroad tracks. He had rolled over in his sleep one night onto the track and the train ran over his arm and leg. He obviously survived the accident, but it was so painful to watch him hobbling around with one arm and leg and a crutch, begging for food or money just so his FAMILY could get by. It wasn't just him that was homeless, but he had children there living with him.

Another documentary showed the Twin Towers fall from the plane crash from 9/11. There were people screaming and one man covering his head while he was bent down.

Yet another documentary showed this one woman who had become paralyzed from a diving accident (she was a swimmer). She went through many years of depression and bitterness, but then came to Christ through her struggles. She now goes and speaks to people and gives her testimony.

Each one of these videos made me cry . . .

How did I not remember this nearly two hours later with my clothes incident?!

I am ungrateful.

I really try to be. I really do. I keep up with a thankfulness journal and write in it every day, trying to pen down at least one thing I'm thankful for each day. Some days I am genuinely grateful for what/who I write down. Some days, it's a half-hearted thing. Why is this? Why can I not be grateful for what I have all the time??

I think the problem is that I have so much already, I just crave more. More food, more money, more stuff. That's the way I've been raised; I live in the richest percentage of the world. I have parts of college paid for through scholarships. I GET to go to college. I have food available to me at all parts of the day. I have plenty of clothes and shoes. I have my own electric piano and several guitars. I have my own bed. (I could go on, but you get the point.)

I'm not claiming to be filthy rich by any means, because I'm not. But in comparison to the rest of the world, I have much. So much more.

What comes to mind is the parable that Jesus told in Luke 7:36-50 when the woman who was a sinner wept and wiped His feet with her perfume. I can't even imagine how much more expensive perfume was considered back then, but I know right now that real perfume is so incredibly expensive! She could have used that to help her pay her way or to get food, but she chose this costly treasure to worship the true Treasure. The parable explains that the one who has a bigger debt, is more grateful than the one who had a smaller one.

First of all, what do I consider my greatest treasure? Is it Christ? Or something earthly and temporal?

Secondly, am I truly grateful for what I've been given? If I woke up tomorrow with only the things/people I was thankful for today, what would I have?

That's a convicting thought.

Lord, help me to be more grateful for the blessings that You HAVE given me. Thank you for what you have given to me! I pray that I will be a faithful servant with Your gifts. Help me to humble myself and diminish my awful pride! Let my faith grow, and help me to remember that You are the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Help me to treasure You above all things and all other people. Amen.

Picture Perfect.

I am a girl.

Yeah, I know, I'm definitely stating the obvious. And because I'm a girl, I'm attracted to pretty things. In reality, I think everyone, regardless of gender, is attracted to pretty things or things/people they find beautiful, but I think females are more obvious about it.

Today, Matt and I were running errands, looking for clothes (just jeans for him) because it was tax-free weekend in Arkansas for back-to-school clothes and school supplies. I had been wanting to find a maxi skirt that would actually look good on me, because they rarely do, so Matt willingly went with me to a few more shops so I could possibly find one. I tried on a few at several stores, even before today, and had found none that looked good on me. The last shop we went to was filled with really cute clothes that reflected the newest styles coming out. At last, I found a maxi skirt that looked promising! I went into the dressing room to try it on. I tried on one size, and it didn't look right. So, being hopeful, I tried on the next larger size. It fit me better, but still didn't fit right. I looked at myself in the mirror for a good 3 minutes or so while I argued inside my head: should I get it, or should I put it back on the rack? The more I kept looking at myself, the more it just didn't look right on me, so I ended up not getting it. Not a big deal, right? It happens to everyone.

We got in the car, and I started thinking to myself: "Why did I have to have such big hips?" and "Why didn't my body look 'right'?" were popping up like a virus in my mind. It was as if I was supposed to be able to fit that skirt, but I had somehow failed. Thoughts of "I need to exercise more, that will fix me", etc. also filled my mind, like I needed to fix my body.

I have always had a low image of myself. I know everyone went through an awkward phase in their life, but I feel like mine lasted longer and was way more awkward than most people. I didn't have a lot of friends in middle school, and I was made fun of for how I looked. I was the tallest girl in my class, and I was not thin. I had braces for a little over 3 years, and had a really bad haircut that was always greasy all the time.

Over the years, little by little, I've gotten over my awkwardness, grown up, and gotten somewhat over the need to look drop-dead gorgeous. But I still have my moments when I struggle. However, I know I'm not alone.

Women young and old have always felt the need to be beautiful. What we desire most is to be looked at as a goddess. We want to BE desirable and to be cherished and loved. So what do we invest ourselves in? Makeup. Clothes. Shoes. Nail polish. Teeth whitening trays. Curling irons and hair straighteners.

Don't get me wrong, I've really started appreciating dressing nicer and wearing/experimenting with makeup and such. I think it's a ton of fun to go shop with friends and get all dressed up and the like. I don't think it's wrong to do those things either. But those things should express who YOU are, not what everyone else is doing. Not what society thinks is cool. If you really like something that's in style right now that isn't unflattering or something that makes men's eyes wander, then of course it's great! It's when your life is covered up: when what you're putting on your face, body, etc. is all a lie. If you're hiding from the real you, then what good is it? We don't get to know the really cool person beneath all of that stuff. I know Matt loves me for who I am, and so do my friends. I don't need to dress a certain way or wear my hair/makeup a certain way to get their approval or make them like me more. I know God loves me without all of those things, too. My family loves me. So, who do I need to impress anyway?

I know this is a message we've all heard since we were twelve. I know guys struggle with this as well. I also know that no matter how many times we get preached at, it's hard. We want to look good for other people so we'll be liked. OR, we don't like ourselves, so we change who we are completely.

Fashion changes. "What's in" changes. The person beneath doesn't. Or at least they shouldn't. 

Humility, gentleness, graciousness, love, joy, and above all, Christlikeness. Those are things that are purely contagious. Those are things that make a person attractive. 

If I don't like who God has created me to be, I'm pretty much just telling Him that what He created wasn't good enough.

Ouch.

Colossians 3:2 commands us: "Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." Things from earth in general are temporary. Will they matter in the eternal perspective? Of course not.

Ladies (and gents), let's focus instead more on training in godliness.