Social media. First of all, I have such a love-hate relationship with it. I absolutely love that I can keep up with people that I never see or hardly ever see but that I genuinely do care about. However, there comes a point where Facebook posts drive me CRAZY. Some people really do just get on my nerves. So why don't I unfriend them? Because I feel like a horrible, awful person if and when I do that. I'm supposed to be loving, accepting, and get along with everyone, right??? Society also encourages having as many hundreds of thousands of friends/followers as possible. To go even further, why don't I just deactivate my account? Because I still want to keep up with people I don't see often. I want to know what's going on in everyone's lives. This is my problem. Blegh.
In addition to this, I feel like everyone's lives completely revolve around Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, etc. We have to put ourselves out there for everyone to see, and everyone has to like what they see. We scream for attention, we base our worth on how many likes we get on a picture or status or tweet. I am especially guilty of this. Why should my life be based on what other people like? It's my life, not theirs. We want to feel acceptance and affirmation. We want to be liked. Nothing wrong with that, but if that's your only motive for posting stuff, then you've got to either stop posting stuff or cut off what's making you stumble. Yet again, see my above dilemma . . . I can stop logging in at any time. Why don't I? Why is it such a powerful thing that draws me in all the time, even though I know it's not beneficial to me? Probably because it's so available. Having an iphone and a laptop available to me whenever I need them, it's so easy to log in and start reading about others' lives. I start to play the comparison game. "Her wardrobe is much cuter than mine, I need to work on that." "Gosh, her makeup always looks perfect, why can't mine be like that?" "Look at all the awesome things she's doing with her life! My life sucks in comparison." Yeah, I could go on, but you get the picture. Mrah.
It also takes away from really personal meaningful friendships. Since my friends post about their lives all the time, it makes me think I don't have to ask how they're doing, because I just read about it on a website. Tonight, I've discovered just how many flimsy, unmeaningful friendships I have with people. Sure, I know a lot of people, but do most of them really even care what I have to say? Do they appreciate me being their friend or acquaintance? Or are they just smiling and being friendly just to be nice? How many people are actually REAL friends?
Kind of a depressing subject, actually . . . Moving on . . .
Now, relationships. Being in one myself for only a little over a year, I don't claim to know everything there is to know about having a successful relationship. But just in observing not only my own relationship, but my friends' relationships and friendships around me, these are just a few things I've learned.
1. Be considerate of your single friends. To some extent, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are dating, so you should act like you're a couple. But some people have a problem with seeing their friends get really touchy. Some don't want to see you kiss in front of them. Ask your friends what they're not comfortable with and what they are comfortable with.
2. Listen to your parents. Especially if you're younger. As young adults, you are generally grown up enough to make your own decisions. However, your parents have also been there and done that; they know the same struggles/fights you get into with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and they have probably had some of the same temptations that you have faced. They've been through this stuff, too, even though it has been a few years for them. Let them help you and give you advice.
3. DON'T IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS. This is so sO SO SOOO incredibly important. Yes, you want to spend as much time with your significant other as possible, but you most likely had your friends before your significant other. They still love you for who you are. They still want to hang out with you.
Don't treat them like crap.
I know of so many single friends (guys and girls alike) who have been ditched by their girl or guy friends gradually over time because they got into a relationship. These friends have been hurt deeply. I myself have had to be confronted about this towards the beginning of Matt and I's relationship. I didn't realize it until my friends had vocalized it to me, and I was genuinely sorry. If you're in a relationship, maybe you don't realize that you're hurting someone because you're still in the "honeymoon phase". Even though I'm in a relationship, I still feel hurt when a girl friend of mine stops putting time into the friendship because of her boyfriend. Guys can do the same exact things.
Include each other in fun activities. Ask your friends if you can bring your boyfriend/girlfriend with you in the time you spend with your friends. Go on double dates. Also make time to spend JUST with your friends. Even your significant other needs friend time with his or her own group of friends if they're not the same as yours.
Just don't exclude others from your life.
If you read through this post, thank you. This wasn't really a "what-I'm-learning-spiritually" post, but I felt like it needed to be said anyway.
I will say that my fifth semester at JBU started on Wednesday, and so far, it has been really good! I have a really good feeling about this semester, and it looks like it won't be NEARLY as stressful as the past year has been. PTL!!!
I also will say that I am very thankful for Matt, my family, and for my real friends that I have that I know truly do care about me (you know who you are)!
I am also thankful for God, who loves me even when I fail Him constantly. He never gives up on me, even when I give up on myself. He always pursues me with an unfailing love, and helps me grow in my walk with Him every day.
I hope you are all doing well, and I still hope that this post has made you think and/or encourages you.
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