For about a week now, I've been working on getting old clothes and such together so that I could be able to sell them to a consignment store, and maybe get some money from it. I didn't expect to get a lot for them, but I thought, "Hey, maybe I could get SOMETHING for them." So, today, I gathered all 8 large filled-to-the-brim bags to Plato's Closet, and gave them my stuff. Even though their website says they accept books, CDs, and DVDs and such, none of the NWA stores apparently accept them . . . Grrr . . . They gave me an hour for them to check out all my clothing items, so I went to run another errand or two while I waited. I came back when the hour was up, and I walked up to the counter. The girl handed me two bags of stuff they didn't want . . . then the third . . . then the fourth . . . until finally, she gave me back ALL of the bags I had given her. Apparently none of the clothes I had brought them were the "right" brands that they accepted. Either that or they were older than they wanted, which was at least 2 years. I knew some of those brands that they wanted that I had given them were definitely under 2 years old and in good condition. Anyway, they gave me nothing for my clothes. NOTHING.
I was so upset. I had worked so hard to research which store to give away my stuff to, how much I might be getting paid, organizing which clothes they might accept and which stuff they wouldn't, etc. And what did I get for it? Nada.
I decided to just head to Goodwill to give them all of my stuff; I just wanted it gone now.
The whole ride there, I was seething. "This is so unfair!" and "Those idiots, I'm NEVER going back there again!" ran repeatedly through my head.
Then after I calmed down some and when I had pulled up to Goodwill and given the man all of my bags, I remembered something.
Earlier that afternoon, I had been watching a lecture video for my online philosophy class. This particular lecture was on the different views that media has for why there is evil and suffering in the world. There was a documentary where I saw a man (who's arm and leg were cut off) and his family who lived on a piece of cardboard in between two railroad tracks. He had rolled over in his sleep one night onto the track and the train ran over his arm and leg. He obviously survived the accident, but it was so painful to watch him hobbling around with one arm and leg and a crutch, begging for food or money just so his FAMILY could get by. It wasn't just him that was homeless, but he had children there living with him.
Another documentary showed the Twin Towers fall from the plane crash from 9/11. There were people screaming and one man covering his head while he was bent down.
Yet another documentary showed this one woman who had become paralyzed from a diving accident (she was a swimmer). She went through many years of depression and bitterness, but then came to Christ through her struggles. She now goes and speaks to people and gives her testimony.
Each one of these videos made me cry . . .
How did I not remember this nearly two hours later with my clothes incident?!
I am ungrateful.
I really try to be. I really do. I keep up with a thankfulness journal and write in it every day, trying to pen down at least one thing I'm thankful for each day. Some days I am genuinely grateful for what/who I write down. Some days, it's a half-hearted thing. Why is this? Why can I not be grateful for what I have all the time??
I think the problem is that I have so much already, I just crave more. More food, more money, more stuff. That's the way I've been raised; I live in the richest percentage of the world. I have parts of college paid for through scholarships. I GET to go to college. I have food available to me at all parts of the day. I have plenty of clothes and shoes. I have my own electric piano and several guitars. I have my own bed. (I could go on, but you get the point.)
I'm not claiming to be filthy rich by any means, because I'm not. But in comparison to the rest of the world, I have much. So much more.
What comes to mind is the parable that Jesus told in Luke 7:36-50 when the woman who was a sinner wept and wiped His feet with her perfume. I can't even imagine how much more expensive perfume was considered back then, but I know right now that real perfume is so incredibly expensive! She could have used that to help her pay her way or to get food, but she chose this costly treasure to worship the true Treasure. The parable explains that the one who has a bigger debt, is more grateful than the one who had a smaller one.
First of all, what do I consider my greatest treasure? Is it Christ? Or something earthly and temporal?
Secondly, am I truly grateful for what I've been given? If I woke up tomorrow with only the things/people I was thankful for today, what would I have?
That's a convicting thought.
Lord, help me to be more grateful for the blessings that You HAVE given me. Thank you for what you have given to me! I pray that I will be a faithful servant with Your gifts. Help me to humble myself and diminish my awful pride! Let my faith grow, and help me to remember that You are the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Help me to treasure You above all things and all other people. Amen.
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