A Follow-Up On My Last Post

There have been even more things that have happened in the past few days because of the accident.

To start on this post and update you all, I will say that I have had almost no unbearable pain since going to the emergency room; thank God for that. I have had a lot of discomfort, though; I have not gotten a good night's sleep yet. I had to take a melatonin supplement to knock me out early this morning around 7 am because I hadn't slept a wink. I got a good 5 hours or so of sleep because of that, so I am thankful. I haven't been very sleepy during the afternoon/evening, probably because I've been laying around all day for several days. I have only had one episode of nausea from the vicodin I was taking, but after that we switched to Tylenol, and I've also added taking an aspirin every day. It's all worked out so far.

We got in to see the orthopedist yesterday. We waited for over an hour to get in a room, and another twenty minutes to actually see the doctor. He finally came in, and basically he was in there for about five minutes. He told us the good news first: no surgery, no plates in my leg or anything. I was very lucky . . . Oh, how many times I've heard that in the past few days . . . Then came the overwhelming bad news. First of all, not only would it take 6-8 weeks for me to wear a cast, but I would also have to go through another 6-8 weeks doing physical therapy on my leg. Because of that, he then told me that I wouldn't be able to work at my new job (where I had literally only worked ONE day). That was a hard blow. But I thought, "Hey, I can deal with that." THEN, he told me that I couldn't take any of my summer classes that I was planning on taking, even though I had crutches. That crushed me . . . It took everything within me to not cry right there in that room.

While my mom and Lindsey stood to check me out and make another appointment for the next week, my dad and I went out to my mom's van. Then, I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying for a long time. "It's all my fault, what am I going to do?" I knew God was and is sovereign, but in my human mind, I did question, "How is He going to fix this? I wanted to graduate in 3 years, how will that happen now?" I sobbed in my dad's arms. He just held me and told me that it would all work out and that everything was going to be okay. "How could it be?!" I screamed in my head. Once again, I had made my own plans for my life, and God had "ruined" them.

This was the real fire I was to go through - the real test of faith. Somehow, having a broken leg in a cast for 6-8 weeks wasn't as hard as not being able to work or take the summer classes I thought I would. I guess because I am just so adamant about graduating a year early. I want to SO BADLY. I guess it was and still is hard to accept because I have to accept the fact that sometimes God's plans for my life don't match up with my own. 


I'm feeling a bit better about everything, I know I took it really hard at first because I was already in shock of breaking my leg and getting all these wounds and such. That was already a major change in my summer. To have another major change added right along with it was almost too much. I am going to remind you by saying that I do not have the gift of adaptability; change does not come easily to me. Yet, God is teaching me so much through this, and this is all a huge blessing in disguise, despite what others may think. I'm not saying that I'm glad it happened, but I'm not going to complain. Why should I? I was spared my life! I have another chance to live! Why waste it on words that won't help with anything?

My mom actually got me signed up for an online class for one of the classes I was planning on taking, so I can at least get 3 credits out of the way instead of nothing at all. We also get a refund for the other classes.

I have had 4 visitors at home besides family since being home for two full days. They all have brought me cards, tons of candy (they know me WAY too well), and a little fluffy penguin keychain that I have yet to give a name. [If you are reading this and have an idea for a name, let me know in a comment or something below!] All of this to brag on my friends and say that I have been blessed with the best ones EVER. I cannot even begin to thank all of my friends and family for their encouraging words and concerns and texts asking me how I'm holding up.

All I can say, though, is that I am super blessed beyond measure! Praise God!